From homemade potty training hacks, to advice from professionals, to to pearls of wisdom shared between mums at 2am on the group chat: they’re here. When your instincts are telling you that your child is showing signs of readiness, there seems to be experts left, right and centre selling programs, methods and schedules full of conflicting advice on getting your child in control of their bodily functions.
Potty training can be a minefield, but there are the tips I used to get my children from nappies to the potty/toilet in a single day.
Featuring My Carry Potty
I’m not an expert, and I am not trying to sell you a method – I’m a mum, and quite often, I have often found a mum tip to be golden.
It’s not magic. It may take some time, or it may take one day and they’ve got it – this was just my experience. But it is making very specific choices – you have to have some sort of game-plan. I have two boys and two girls – believe me when I say these have been honed from years trial and error(s)! From our approach, the products we used and even choice of words, these have worked to have them dry and nappy free.
*For the sake of respecting my children’s privacy I will avoid specifics or going into the many amusing anecdotes surrounding the subject… tempting though it is. I’m just relieved that time makes almost all parenting tales something we can all laugh at, rather than pour onto a therapist. Though there are a few of those, too.
Here’s how…
1. wait until they reALLY ARE READY
It seems obvious, but I have definitely fallen into the trap of trying too early. You will hear how Lisa at nursery had Samantha potty trained by birth, or your parents may hint that they really sound be in ‘big kid’ pants now. You are their parent. In my experience, seeing one sign and enthusiastically introducing the potty is, frankly, a complete waste of time. Some experts even claim it can cause emotional trauma, though I’m not sure how true that is… we have just experienced a lot of wet floors as a result.
I’m not saying you won’t succeed if you try early, but it’s less likely and a far from enjoyable experience for all concerned. I have offered it to them before they were ready, and it was made clear in about nine seconds.
When your child uses the toilet says absolutely nothing about you as a parent. Repeat as many times as necessary to drown out Lisa… nobody really likes Lisa. She will tell anybody who will stand still for long enough what a success she is in all areas of life, so take Lisa’s words with a pinch of salt.
Trust those maternal/paternal instincts here: you will know when your child is ready. I have found that waiting until I can see the signs, then waiting a little longer to be sure, works. My third literally took a day to be dry during the day, asking for the potty when he needed it.
Common signs of readiness: These tend to include when children tell you they are doing a wee or poo or even tells you beforehand, doing a shuffle, grabbing at their privates, asking what you’re doing in the bathroom, frequently removing their own nappy and there being longer gaps between wet nappies.
If you take nothing else from this post, let readiness be the thing that sticks with you.
2. Showing an interest in bathroom habits
As a mum, I am fully aware that a bathroom trip alone becomes akin to a pre-kids spa weekend, but hear me out. This has always been the biggest sign of readiness for me. If a child is mature enough to show interest and formulate questions, they are likely at a stage where they can understand a routine. I have frequently snuck off to the bathroom alone (often armed with a chocolate bar and the vague hope that I’m going to get to enjoy the whole thing myself… so naïve!) but when ‘Oh you’re doing a wee mummy!’ ‘Oooh what is that paper?’ and ‘Can I wash my hands in the bubbles too?’ start piping up, nappy-free days are in sight.
Wide eyes over the rim of the basin find pumping soap fascinating, squelchy wet hand noises highly amusing and talking about bodily functions utterly hilarious – utilise it!
3. Buy a book
Children are wonderful mimics, and if you present them with a book and praise the behaviour on those pages – you’re likely going to have a keen learner on your hands. I’m really not one for the singing, dancing, flushing potties on the market, but if you can stand to hear the noises a thousand times a day, a book with a button-triggered sound effect helps.
Potty Time with Elmo was a great success with our Sesame Street loving little ones!
4. Dedicate a week to staying at home
I completely understand that this isn’t always possible around work and older siblings – all of my children have been potty trained in the summer holidays for this very reason. But if you can, you will probably find the whole process a lot more relaxing. At the very least, I would recommend dedicating a weekend to it. Even when the children have nailed potty training without accidents from the word go, outings put pressure on the situation.
If children are distracted then they are much less likely to be noticing signals from their own body, and if they’re overwhelmed or overstimulated by wherever you are then panic accidents are on the cards.
A week sounds like such a long time, especially if they grasp it on the first day – but this seems to stop accidents becoming a habit.
5. A basket of bum toys
I apologise for the choice of words, but it was a phrase coined by one of my children years ago and they wouldn’t hear it called anything else. I can assure you, it’s been met with many a quizzical eyebrow. Essentially, for reasons I will go into in a moment, I don’t go shopping for pants in advance to get them excited about potty training. However, a ‘Bum Basket’ full of ‘Bum Toys’ has always been part of the process.
If you’re lucky, you child will either know to tell you when they feel like they need to go, or display obvious signs (one of mine had a sort of cha-cha dance) or will think carefully when you’re asking them and you will know when to fetch their throne of glory.
However, that isn’t always the case.
One of my children was always so away with the fairies that they would only tell me when they were going – so a lot of the first day was spent just sat on the potty. Surprisingly, this turned out to be the child who woke up on the second day and never had a single accident. I suspect it was because the potty was a fun activity as the ‘Bum Toys’ were only for playing with when they needed the potty, so they were far keener to pay attention to their body’s warnings signs. We went for a Family of Hedgehogs with a few flannels that were used to put them to bed, dress them etc.
6. throw away the nappies
I read this in one of the many parenting books that line my bookshelves (mainly from the years when I would fall asleep reading them before Google was accessible from my nightstand) but this works wonders! As long as nappies are an option that’s either in plain sight or easily accessible, the kids weren’t going to commit to potty training… and realistically, nor was I. Nappies are infinitely more convenient that the demands of a newly trained little bladder!
But, making a song and dance of getting rid of the nappies together ready for potty training because ‘You’re so big and clever that you don’t need them anymore!’ seems to really trigger a shift in mindset. With one of my children, I was convinced that I would end up sending them off to university in nappies. Okay, that is a bit of an exaggeration, but I really was concerned. Despite me being convinced that they were ready, showing all of the signs and being able to reason, no amount of ‘Bum Toy’ shopping or encouragement was coaxing them to the potty – they flat-out said no.
So one Monday morning, feeling inspired by a smooth school run and ready to take on the world (or, at least, potty training) we made a big show of putting the nappies in the bin. The ‘bin’ was actually a basket, as it’s unlikely they will be dry every night for a while. If you still have some stashed after they don’t need them, then donating them to a local women’s refuge is a good option. They were so proud of this huge step into big-kid territory, that the rest was the easiest of all of them!
7. the naked week
At least on that all-important first day, keep them completely naked. Whether that means you wait until the warmer months or crank up the central heating, this makes such a difference. Clothes against their skin actually gives children the secure feeling similar to wearing a nappy – which is why I don’t take them pants shopping to get them excited before we even begin. I know, I know, it’s the oldest trick in the book. But have you ever got a toddler excited about something, then telling them they have to wait until they have achieved a very specific goal for it? I don’t recommend it!
While pants are obviously the goal, avoiding giving them the sensation of a nappy where possible will really minimise the chances of accidents. I have found that holding off until the summer months, where they can either run about completely naked or just in a dress/baggy tshirt really helps.
8. Choose your words carefully
For me, this one took some getting used to, but it really made a noticeable difference. As nurturing our young is instinctive, it feels very unnatural not to reassure them. Reactions such as ‘Oh you had an accident… don’t worry about it! Mummy will clean it up then we’ll have a nice bubble bath…’ are positive reinforcement. It isn’t about having a negative reaction to your little one who has just done something completely accidentally.
The idea is to simply not make it seem positive. ‘Oh you have had an accident – you must tell mummy when you need a wee or a poo darling, okay?’ reminds them that telling you matters and that they have the power to prevent it happening.
I’ve always found the pattern really difficult to break once habits of regular accidents set in and don’t phase them at all. Carefully chosen words seem to help.
9. negotiate rewards… to some extent.
Build a den, read a book, watch some tele. One of my children actually managed to negotiate that, for that first day, they deserved a chocolate button in exchange for a bowel movement in the potty. I was so impressed by their skills of persuasion and reasoning that I didn’t have much by way of a counter argument! Perhaps not my best parenting moment. I do believe that honesty is key amongst the motherhood tribe, though. That child was potty trained in one day, and it took half a packet of chocolate buttons – I’m calling that a win.
The others thankfully had less initiative and were delighted by Peppa Pig sticker charts.
10. that first outing
Now, we buy the pants! It’s actually a really sweet moment because you can make a fuss of just how proud you are of them. Tempting though it is to dash into the shops and back home as quickly as possible, it’s lovely to make it a special potty training outing. In clothes! I have never felt popping leggings on them without pants was an issue for me for one trip.
If you feel differently, maybe you could have one pair stashed for them to wear into town before they pick their own? Or they could help you choose some online, and once they’re delivered you could take your first trip. Our first trip has always been pants shopping followed by the park, with a tiny ice-cream and big amount of praise thrown in.
The My Carry Potty has always saved me from being nervous about having to find a toilet at a moment’s notice during potty training!
I hope you have found something useful in here – I would love to hear how potty training goes! Finding what has worked for all of the children despite them being such wildly different characters has really given me confidence when the time comes to potty train our forth child. I will definitely be waiting until I’m sure she’s ready, she will let me know.
Love, Helen x
Disclosure – some links within this post may be affiliate links. This means that if you purchase through the links, I earn a small commission though this is at no expense to you. As always, I appreciate your support and would never recommend a product we have not tried, tested and loved.
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